As a homeschooler, I hear it all the time. The sometimes
well-intentioned (other times mean-spirited) questions regarding how I ensure
my children are properly socialized. Here’s my straight answer…I don’t.
I’m okay if they
receive a sub-standard education in the ways of modern-day youth. I don’t
mind admitting that I’m actively “sheltering” my kids from associations that
will do nothing but harm their own characters. And I won’t apologize for
it. I’m not a snob–I’m simply a mother who takes the task of raising her
children very seriously and who knows how easy it is to step off the path into
complacency.
§ I don’t mind
if my kids don’t learn to cuss. My oldest child dipped his toe in the
nasty habit a few years back and it took some serious praying and intentional
heart-to-hearts to penetrate his impressionable heart on the matter. I’m
perfectly content to count his battle a victory and give all glory to God.
But I’m not eager to wage war against a filthy mouth again anytime soon.
§ I’m not
concerned if my kids don’t have girlfriends/boyfriends. In fact, they are
not permitted to. And yes, we’ve been raked over the coals for it.
Encouraging any form of intimacy between youth, even of a strictly
emotional nature, is playing with fire. In well-supervised social
situations, my children are more than welcome to chat with and get to know
people of either gender. But that is where it stops, for now.
§ I’m not at
all bothered that my children are a bit naive. That they can hear crass
talk and not fully understand it’s meaning. It doesn’t make them stupid,
it simply means they’re having their minds guarded from the garbage being
heaped on young people today. The dumbing-down created by Hollywood and
the tabloids is mass-producing a society numb to basic moral standards.
I’m fine if my children aren’t just another statistic.
§ I make no
apologies for the fact that I have children who are well into their teens and
are still not permitted to watch movies deemed suitable for those years younger.
What goes in those minds via the screen tends to stay locked up
there. I prefer to have them held captive by that which will elevate,
rather than destroy, their characters.
§ I do not
feel bad for not allowing my children to run around unsupervised. Even my
teens operate within boundaries set in place for their own good. They are
given freedoms, in a progressive trend, as they age and show signs of maturity.
But they are not left to their own devices.
§ I’m not in
the least persuaded that it is acceptable for my kids to be “checking out”
those of the opposite sex. I am doggedly instilling in them the need to
respect each other and to look deeper than what is often put far too
prominently on display. I abhor this society of acceptable nakedness
and am encouraging my children to keep their eyes on Christ instead.
Make no mistake, my
children have friends. My son shoots hoops with the neighbor boy in
his yard pretty regularly and I didn’t run a background check or insist on
fingerprinting before allowing the friendship. But I can glance over
there quickly and see that they aren’t toeing any lines…they’re simply enjoying
a bit of company and athletic recreation. I am not opposed to
friendships–it’s the myth that I must intentionally socialize my kids that
frustrates me. You socialize puppies. Children should be
encouraged to live, encountering people of all kinds and learning to make
judgment calls (not the same thing as being judgmental!) while under your
protective wing.
I am not advocating homeschooling or bashing those who choose not to.
I have done both and neither option is the cause or the absolute cure. I am, however, taking a firm stand against the notion that
kids must be immersed deeply in peer exchange to grow in accordance with
societal standards. I am not interested in having my children attain any
such “standard”.
There is a deception that is running rampant, through even Christian homes, that claims we must go with the flow. That we must not put up too much resistance or our children will rebel. That the easy marriage of the “world” and the “church” is necessary to live a life of cohesiveness, peace and success.
I’m raising my sign high and standing at the picket line, ready to
march against this madness. Please forgive me if that offends you!
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