I haven't written for a long time for a couple of reasons. One, because we've been busy getting ready for our new business open house. Two, because I have been struggling with depression.
I've been trying to hide it, but I need to be real. I need to be open and honest. Maybe by me being open about my feelings, I can help someone else.
Just because I'm a Christian and trust in Jesus, doesn't mean I won't have struggles. On the contrary. Jesus said "In this world we will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world" (totally paraphrased).
I am part of an online ladies group with a bunch of amazing Godly ladies. I am so thankful for them. They have prayed for me, spoke sternly, yet lovingly to me, and always pointed me to Jesus.
In the last 18 months, I have lost my mother, my oldest brother, moved 1800 miles away from my home state, my oldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson, my church, my friends, and everything I knew. I have also had our two youngest daughters marry and leave home just 6 weeks of one another.
At times, it's a little more than I can bear. Especially now that the holidays are quickly approaching.
My heart aches deeply for my family back home and I long to be there with them. And yet, my heart aches at the thought of leaving the family I have here. It is such a hard place to be. I have been praying and seeking God continually. Begging Him for direction, guidance, PEACE, none of which I have found, yet.
Michael is feeling the same way. I am thankful for him and his love for me. He has never left my side. Sometimes he doesn't have the right words to say so he just holds me as I cry my heart out. He's an amazing man and I'm thankful God gave him to me. Lord knows, I've not been easy to live with, especially lately.
If you think of us, pray for us. We need it! Thank you :o)
